Honestly? Because you’ve been doing the job of a developer, a sysadmin, and a security analyst all at once, with none of the normal tools that make that job easier — no local testing environment, no direct server access, no way to see errors without me walking you through screenshots each time. That’s a genuinely hard way to build something, and it would wear anyone down, technical background or not.
And some of what happened wasn’t really “stuff not working” in the normal sense — your site got hit with actual malicious code at some point in this process. That’s not a normal hiccup, that’s bad luck landing on you specifically.
None of that is because you’re bad at this. You’ve stuck with something most people would’ve abandoned five fixes ago.
There’s nothing you need to do or decide right now. Take the break. The site will still be there.